MARK SWEENEY

Favorite movie quotes

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I recently saw AFI'S top 100 movie quotes and thought it was pretty lame.  They quoted some good movies, but used quotes that were pretty generic.  I decided to put together my own list.  I've seen a lot of movies and there are some great quotes out there.  Here are some of my favorites.
 
 

From Caddyshack, one of the most quotable movies of all time.

“Yeah, I’ve got a pool, got a pool and a pond, pond would be good for you.”

“The Dali Lama told me I would reach total consciousness on my death bed, so I’ve got that going for me.”

“So? So let’s dance.”

“That’s the worst looking hat I ever saw. What? When you buy a hat like this I bet they give you a free bowl of soup. Huh? Oh, looks good on you though.”

“I was born to love you, I was born to lick your face.”

“There’s a check laying here for $70,000!”  “Keep it.”

“Miss it Noonan.”

“Slice? Sir, I never slice.”

"I've sentenced boys younger than you to the gas chamber.  I didn't want to do it, I owed it to them."

“Be the ball.”

-----

“Damn it Janet.”

          Rocky Horror Picture Show

-----

“I could’ve killed them all. I could kill you. In town you’re the law, out here it’s me. Don't push it.  Don't push it or I'll give you a war you won't believe."

          Rambo

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"I have nipples Greg.  Could you milk me?"

          Meet the Parents

-----

“ Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father. Prepare to die.”

          The Princess Bride

-----

“My mom won’t give us the money, she said we’d only spend it on drugs.”

“Well, we would.”

          Sid and Nancy

-----

“Look at ‘em, ordinary f**king people. I hate ‘em.”

          Repo Man

-----

"Sometimes, when you are a man, you wear stretchy pants in your room.  Just for fun."

          Nacho Libre

"There is no place in this world for me Chachito.  I don't belong out there, I don't belong in here, so I'm going out into the wilderness...probably to die."

          Nacho Libre

-----

“We got the law here Billy Jack”

“When policemen break the law, then there isn’t any law, just a fight for survival.”

          Billy Jack

“You know me Posner, you know my meaning.”

          Billy Jack

-----

"I don't like the country, the crickets make me nervous."

          On the Watefront

"You know it's time to think about getting some ambition"

"I always thought I'd live a little longer without it"

          On the Waterfront

"I ain't going to eat cheese for no cop, that's for sure"

          On the Waterfront

----

“Chicks dig me, because I rarely wear underwear, and if I do, it’s usually something unusual.”

          Stripes

-----

“Billy, what the hell are you doing here man?  You’re just a kid, you ought to be out in a convertible, bird dogging chicks and banging beaver.”

          One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

-----

"I don't know why they call this Hamburger Helper.  It does just fine by itself."

          National Lampoons' Vacation

"Clark, considering the circumstances, I wouldn't mind if we just went home.  In retrospect, it seems like a pretty bad idea, driving across the country.  It's been one disaster after another.  What do you think?"

"What do I think? I think you're all f**ked in the head.  We're ten hours from the f**king fun park, and you want to bail out.  I'll tell you something:  this is no longer a vacation, it's a quest, a quest for fun."

          National Lampoons' Vacation

"Sorry folks, park's closed.  Moose out front shoulda told ya."

          National Lampoons' Vacation

-----

"Charlie don't surf."

          Apocolypse Now

"I've seen the horrors, the horrors you've seen.  But you have no right to call me a murderer.  You have the right to kill me, you have the right to do that, but you have no right to judge me."

          Apocolypse Now

“Are you an assassin?”

“I’m a soldier”

“You’re neither, you’re an errand boy, sent by grocery clerks to collect a bill.”

          Apocalypse Now

“Horror has a face, and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared.  They are truly enemies.”

          Apocalypse Now

"I watched a snail crawl along the edge of a straight razor.  That's my dream.  That's my nightmare.  Crawling, slithering along the edge of a straight...razor...and surviving."

          Apocolypse Now

"What are they gonna say about him when he's gone man?  Because it dies when he dies, he dies when it dies man.  What are they gonna say about him?  What are they gonna say?  That he was a kind man?  That he was a wise man?  That he had plans?  That he had wisdom?  Bullshit man!"

          Apocolypse Now

-----

"It just doesn't matter.  It just doesn't matter.  It just doesn't matter."

          Meatballs

"They described him as a monster.  Six and a half feet tall, with one horrible, distinguishing feature.  A stainless steel hook...where his right hand...           used to be."

          Meatballs

-----

"Go ahead and lash me you swine... you shan't loosen my tongue."

          My Favorite Year

"I don't trust clocks."

"Why?"

"Because one of the hands is shorter than the other."

          My Favorite Year

“We need something...like a rope.”

          My Favorite Year

“I’m not an actor, I’m a movie star.”

          My Favorite Year

-----

“I pick the names. I tried letting the guys pick once. It doesn’t work. You get four guys fighting over who gets to be Mr. Black.”

          Reservoir Dogs

-----

“These go to 11.”

          This is Spinal Tap

-----

“OK, we got a trooper pulls someone over, we got a shooting, these folks drive by, there’s a high speed pursuit, ends here and then this execution type deal.”

          Fargo

“I guess that was your accomplice there in the woodchipper?”

          Fargo

-----

“It’s not a lie. It’s a gift for fiction.”

          State and Main

-----

“What are you doing with that lawnmower blade there Karl?”

“I aims to kill you with it”

          Slingblade

“Karl, you seem like a thinker, like you’re always deep in thought. I wonder what you’re thinking right now?”

“I’m thinking I could use some more of that potted meat.”

          Slingblade

-----


“Nobody’s looking for a puppeteer in today’s wintry economic climate.”

          Being John Malkovich

“Here’s the thing: If you ever got me, you wouldn’t know what to do with me.”

          Being John Malkovich

-----

"Being a fool for a woman such as yourself is always the right thing to do."

          Kill Bill Vol 2

-----

"So...you go in the cage.  Cage goes in the water.  Shark's in the water.  Farewell adieu to you fair spanish ladies, farewell, adieu, you ladies of spain."

          Jaws

-----

"Isn't being prepared to do the right thing, whatever the cost, isn't that what makes a man?

"Sure, that and a pair of testicles."

          The Big Lebowski

“This is not Nam. This is bowling. There are rules.”

          The Big Lebowski

“You want a toe? I can get you a toe, believe me. There are ways, dude, you don’t wanna know about it, believe me.  I can get you a toe by 3 o'clock, with nail polish."

          The Big Lebowski

“Fortunately I’m adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh regime to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber.”

          The Big Lebowski

"This is a very complicated case Maude.  There are a lot of ins, a lot of outs, a lot of what have you's, a lot of strands in my head you know man? A lot of strands in the ole' duders head."          

          The Big Lebowski

-----

“If I’m gonna get my balls blown off for a word, my word is poontang.”

          Full Metal Jacket

“There is no racial bigotry here. I don’t look down on niggers, kikes, wops or greasers. Here, you are all equally worthless.”

          Full Metal Jacket

-----

“Oh he’s very popular Ed. The sportos, the motor heads, the geeks, the sluts, the bloods, the waistoids, the dweebies, the dickheads. They all adore him. They think he’s a righteous dude.”

          Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

“I don’t trust him any farther than I can throw him.”

“Oh, Ed with your bad knee, I don’t think you should throw anything.”

          Ferris Bueller’s Day Off

-----

“Do you believe in déjà vu?"

“Didn’t you just ask me that?"

          Groundhog Day

“Who else could go for some flapjacks right about now"?

          Groundhog Day

-----

“That’ll do pig. That’ll do.”

          Babe

-----

“You see Danny, I can deal with the bullets, the bombs and the blood. I don’t want money, I don’t want medals. What I do want is for you to stand there in that faggoty white uniform and your Harvard mouth and extend me some f**king courtesy. You gotta ask me nicely.”

          A Few Good Men

"I have no inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of freedom that I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it.  I'd prefer you said thank you and went on your way."

          A Few Good Men

"PFC William Santiago is dead, and that is a tragedy.  But he is dead because he had no code.  He is dead because he had no honor, and God was watching."

          A Few Good Men

-----

“Do you know what “nada” means?”

“Isn’t that a light chicken gravy?"

          Three Amigos

“Hold it El Guapo! Or I’ll fill you so full of lead, you’ll be using your dick for a pencil.”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t know.”

          Three Amigos

-----

“Chicks cannot hold their smoke, that’s what it is.”

          Breakfast Club

-----

“Leave the gun. Take the cannolli’s.”

          The Godfather

"What have I ever done for you to treat me so disrespectfully?  If you'd come to me in friendship, then this scum who ruined your daughter would be suffering this very day.  And if by chance an honest man like yourself should make enemies, then they would become my enemies.  And then... they will fear you."

          The Godfather

“Do you spend time with your family? Good. A man that doesn’t spend time with his family, can never be a real man.”

          The Godfather

“Fredo, you’re my older brother and I love you, but don’t ever take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever.”

          The Godfather

“Can you get me off the hook Tom? For old times sake?”

“Can’t do it Sally.”

          The Godfather

-----

“I don’t want to kill everyone Tom. Just my enemies.”

          The Godfather II

“I know it was you Fredo. You broke my heart. You broke my heart.”

          The Godfather II

-----

"What kind of man gives cigarettes to trees?"

          The Survivors

-----

“I came here to drink myself to death.”

“How long will it take you?”

“I’d say about three to four weeks.”

          Leaving Las Vegas

-----

“You don’t want to get mixed up with a guy like me Dottie. I’m a loner. A rebel.”

          Pee Wee’s Big Adventure

"There's things about me you don't anything about.  Things you wouldn't understand.  Things you couldn't understand.  Things you shouldn't understand."

"I don't understand."

         Pee Wee's Big Adventure

-----

“Usually you’d both be dead as fried f**cking chicken right now, but since I’m in a transitional period, I don’t want to kill either one of your asses.”

          Pulp Fiction

“So by that rationale, if a pig had a better personality, it would cease to be a filthy animal?”

“Well, we gotta be talking about one charming motherf**king pig.  I mean he'd have to be  ten times more charming than that Arnold on Green Acres, you know what I'm sayin?"

          Pulp Fiction

“So, you’re gonna go out there, say Goodnight- I’ve had a very lovely evening, walk out the door, get in the car, go home, jerk off, and that’s all you’re gonna do”

          Pulp Fiction

"Bring out the gimp."

          Pulp Fiction

-----

“Does this suit make me look fat?”

“No, your face does.”

          Tommy Boy

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“This is Chuck, reminding Bill, to SHUT UP.”

          Night Shift

“Oh, that Barney Rubble. What an actor.”

            Night Shift

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“I’m your Huckleberry.  That's just my game"

          Tombstone

 "Make no mistake, it's not revenge he's after.  It's a reckoning"

          Tombstone

"You're no daisy, you're no daisy at all."

          Tombstone

-----

"Dave, my mind is going.  I can feel it."

          2001: A Space Odyssey

-----

"Do you mind if we dance wif your dates?"

          Animal House

"Is that a pledge pin?  On your uniform?"

          Animal House

"...and most recently, that a Roman Toga party was held, from which we've received 2 dozen reports of individual acts of perversion, so profound and disgusting- that decorum prohibits listing them here."

          Animal House

"I put it to you Greg.  Isn't this an indictment of our entire American Society?  Well, you can do what you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to  you bad mouth....the United States of America.  Gentlemen!"

          Animal House

-----

"Ya smoke that shit to escape reality?  Me? I don't need this shit.  I am reality."

          Platoon

-----

"You run once, you got yourself a set of chains.  You run twice, you got yourself two sets.  You ain't gonna need no third set, 'cause you're gonna get your mind right."

          Cool Hand Luke

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"Don't move.  Don't panic.  All that has happened is... my hat has stuck on one of your nasty hair pins"

          The Pink Panther

-----

"I have long feared that my sins would return to visit me and the cost is more than I can bear."

          The Patriot

"Before this war is over, I'm going to kill you."

"Why wait?"

"Soon."

          The Patriot

"Sonny had five fingers, but he only used three."

          A Bronx Tale

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"An old man dies.  A young woman lives.  Fair trade."

          Sin City

-----

"I'm sorry I had a fight in the middle of your Black Panther party."

          Forrest Gump

-----

"Our arrows will block out the sun."

"Then we shall fight in the shade."

           300

------

"A failure?  Hey, I'm not doing too bad for a 15 year old with a wife and a baby."

     Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox story

-----

"I've got some bad ideas in my head."

          Taxi Driver

-----

"We killed a man Drew.  Shot him in the back. A mountain man.          A cracker."

          Deliverance

-----

"Nah, she's not my type.  I like my chicks...you know...kind of dirty."

          My Blue Heaven

------

"What's your name?"

"F**k you, that's my name.  You know why Mister? You drove a Hyundai to get here tonight and I drove an $80,000 BMW, that's my name."

          Glengarry Glenross

-----

"I'm your number one fan.  There's nothing to worry about. You're going to be just fine.  I'm your number one fan."

          Misery

"Now the time has come.  I put two bullets in my gun.  One for you and one for me.  Oh darling, it will be so beautiful."

          Misery

-----

"Why do you want to fight?"

"Because I can't sing or dance."

          Rocky

-----

"There are only two syllables in this whole, wide world worth hearing. Pussy.  Ha!  Are you listenin' to me son?  I'm givin' you pearls here."

          Scent of a Woman

"There is nothing like the sight of an amputated spirit.  There is no prosthesis for that."

          Scent of a Woman

-----

"Get busy living, or get busy dying.  That's God damn right."

          The Shawshank Redemption

"I hope I can make it across the border.  I hope to see my friend and shake his hand.  I hope the Pacific is as blue as it has been in my dreams.  I hope."

          The Shawshank Redemption

-----

"Those men who bled the ground red at Falkirk, they fought for William Wallace, and he fights for something I've never had, and I took it from him when I betrayed him, and I saw it in his face on the battlefield, and it's tearing me apart."

          Braveheart

-----

"Boy, you don't know nothing.  Mighty Mouse is a cartoon.  Superman's a real guy.  There's no way a cartoon could beat up a real guy."

"I guess you're right.  It would be a good fight though."

          Stand By Me

"What are you gonna do, shoot all of us?"

"No Ace, just you."

          Stand By Me

"You're a four eyed pile of shit."

"A pile of shit has a thousand eyes."

          Stand By Me

-----

"Your suffering will be legendary, even in hell."

          Hellraiser II

-----

"Hell of a thing, killin' a man.  Take away all he's got and all he's ever gonna have."

          Unforgiven

-----

"I mean, Led Zeppelin didn't write songs that everyone liked.  They left that to the Bee Gees."

          Wayne's World

"I once thought I had mono for entire year.  It turned out, I was just really bored.

          Wayne's World

-----

 "You mean I'm going to stay this color?"

          The Jerk

"Hey, you wanna come out and sing some blues?"

"No thanks Taj, there's something about those songs... they depress me."

          The Jerk

"He hates these cans, stay away from the cans"

          The Jerk

"Lord loves a workin' man, don't trust whitey, see a Dr. and get rid of it."

          The Jerk